The Whole Night
by thatfantasyworldofmine
Summary: Rose has a panic attack. Rated M for a bit of violence at the start.


A dream. That is what Rose desperately hoped this was as she fled down the snow-covered empty street, her face and fingers numb from the freezing night air. _Get to the TARDIS,_ she told herself, but she couldn't go any faster for fear of falling and being caught.

"Oh Rosie! I'm gonna come get you!" She heard the taunts echo through the street and fear and dread gripped at her stomach.

"Leave me alone, Jimmy," she yelled over her shoulder, trying not to let her voice break. _Shouldn't have gone out alone this late_, she chastised herself. _Stupid, stupid_ - "Ooof!" Rose turned forward and froze, finding herself face to face with Jimmy's right hand idiot; his name was Dave or something, she recalled. _Stop trying to remember his name! Get out of there!_ Rose turned and tried to run, but only came face to face with Jimmy Stone.

"Jimmy, don-" Rose was cut off as her drunk ex boyfriend punched her, knocking her to the ground and splitting her lip. The pain was immediate and fresh, and Rose tried to scramble away, only to be wrenched up from the ground by her hair. She yelped, hands flying to her head, only to find Jimmy's relentless grip tangled in her loose blonde hair. He pressed his lips roughly to hers and his tongue invaded her mouth before she shoved him away as hard as she could. "Get away," she screamed, and yelped in pain as he yanked on her hair again. She saw rage in his eyes and was truly frightened. "Jimmy, stop-" He punched her again; she hit the ground with her head and saw stars burst in front of her eyes. "Doctor," she cried; she knew it was pointless but she couldn't help herself. "Doctor!" she screamed again as she saw Jimmy descend on her.

"Rose, for god's sake, wake up," the Doctor muttered through gritted teeth as he seized Rose's shoulders and shook her. He'd been trying to wake her for a good five minutes, to no avail; she just lay there, twitching every so often, fists clenching and unclenching, whimpering, sometimes crying out. She was breathing heavily, gasping in her sleep, and beads of sweat lined her hairline. She'd just said his name, and while he was desperately hoping her nightmares weren't about him, all he could do was wake her up.

She gave a shudder and her eyes flew open, wide and terrified, and her chest heaving with sobs. Her gaze darted around wildly and she struggled instinctively against his hold on her shoulders, writhing in his grip in an attempt to escape.

"Get away, get away," she sobbed, abandoning her escape attempt and simply curling up into a shaking terrified ball. Frightened sobs reached his ears.

"Rose, it's me, it's the Doctor," he told her worriedly, releasing her and sitting on the edge of her bed. He placed his hand on her shoulder and felt her tremble beneath his hand. "Rose, it was just a nightmare; you're in the TARDIS, you're safe," he said softly, and she uncurled a bit, squinting at him through the dim light of her room.

"D-doctor?" she hiccuped, and recognition passed through her eyes. "Oh, Doctor it's you," she cried, and pressed herself into his open arms. "It's you," she wept into his jacket, gasping for breath.

"It's me, I've got you," he murmured, rubbing her back soothingly, frowning when she didn't appear to calm down. "Rose, it's alright, nothing's going to happen... Rose?" He pulled away and looked her at her; she was almost hyperventilating, staring somewhere past him with a haunted look on her face. "Rose." He snapped his fingers in front of her face and her eyes darted back to him.

"Why can't I stop?" Her heart was still pounding with terror, tears still streaked down her cheeks, and while somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was safe in the TARDIS, she just couldn't calm down. She felt like she was being smothered, unable to get enough breath, and her chest hurt.

"Rose, look at me; right here, look at my eyes." The Doctor locked eye contact with his companion and took her shaking hands in his. "It's okay, it's okay," he said simply, staring earnestly into her eyes. Rose continued to gasp and instinctively squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block the memories. "Rose, look at me - hey, look at me, right here," the Doctor reminded her, putting a hand to her cheek. He kept his voice steady; Rose was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack, and since she probably had no idea what she was experiencing was, it was making her all the more scared. Her eyes flicked open again and her hazel gaze found his deep brown one. "Rose, what did I just say?"

"You said, it's okay," she managed to gasp back, tears still leaking from her eyes staring into the Doctor's. She concentrated on his eyes; tried to block everything else out, just looking at his eyes. "I... can't..." Rose had no idea what was wrong with her, but she tried her hardest to concentrate on the Doctor. Just the Doctor.

"Rose, stay with me, you're doing fine," the Doctor assured her with a soothing tone. "Just.. breathe; remember to breathe.. in, out, in, out..." He demonstrated a few times. "Come on, try with me, Rose. In, out."

She tried, she really did. In her mind, it took forever. She took deep breaths, squeezing his hands and still looking into his earnest eyes. Slowly, Rose managed to bring her breathing under some semblance of control. Her vision started to cloud around the edges. She closed her eyes, concentrating on breathing.

"Rose-" She held up her hand to shush him, and somehow her fingers landed directly over his mouth. He took her hand in his own, stroking the back of it with his thumb. He leaned over and switched on the lamp next to her bed, lighting up the room better than the dim light shining from the hall through the open door. "Are you alright?"

"Dizzy," she said breathlessly. Her chest slowly stopped heaving, and she soon found it wasn't hurting anymore. The next time she opened her eyes, they were clear. The Doctor was still holding her hand, and somehow his other hand had come to rest on her knee. He was looking at her with a concerned look on his face.

"Rose?" he asked again, squeezing her hand gently.

"I think I want a hug now," she replied in a small voice, and sighed with relief as he encircled his arms around her immediately. She put her arms around his middle and rested her head against his chest, comforted by the double beats of his hearts. She closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "What was that, Doctor?"

"You had a panic attack," he replied, holding her tight. "Walked past your bedroom door and heard you crying - in your sleep, apparently. Took me about five minutes to wake you up, and I'm guessing it must've been some nightmare to frighten you that much..." He left the rest of his sentence hanging, waiting for her to elaborate.

She shivered at the memory, and in her exhausted state, it didn't take much for tears to come to her eyes again at the thought of the vivid nightmare. "It was about Jimmy," she mumbled, sniffing. "Jimmy Stone."

He released her and kicked off his shoes, climbing onto the bed so he lay next to her, back propped up against the headboard. He put his arm around her, and she leaned into him, her hand between her face and his chest. "Who was he?" the Doctor asked.

"My first boyfriend," Rose replied shakily, and sniffed again. "We left school together, before A-levels. He started drinking, and getting angry all the time, so I left him. He... didn't take it well." Her voice hitched at the end of the sentence, but she carried on, "He and a couple of his mates came after me. Beat me pretty good, but they thought someone was coming and scarpered."

The Doctor stiffened at the thought of anyone hurting Rose, but he remained silent until she had finished her story. She had made her way home for Jackie to find her passed out on the living room couch with a split lip, bloody nose and broken arm, not to mention the bruises and scrapes covering the rest of her body. She'd refused to tell Jackie who did it, for fear he would come after her Mum; he definitely had enough thugs to get away with it.

"So I'm guessing this is what your nightmare was about?" he murmured softly into her hair, and she nodded, a lump forming in her throat.

"Except this time, I couldn't get away," she whispered. "I knew you were waiting for me too; it was so vivid, I remember telling myself 'get to the TARDIS' but I couldn't, and he.." She broke off, and pressed in closer to him, afraid the Doctor might disappear. That dream had felt so real; who's to say this wasn't one too?

"Rose, it's alright. I've got you," the Doctor promised, wrapping his arms protectively around her once more. "You're safe here." She nodded, but didn't let go, his jacket staying clenched in her fingers. Then she yawned, her exhaustion catching up with her now that she wasn't running on adrenaline. "Come on, sleep time," the Doctor said softly, tugging the blankets up and over her, pulling away from her.

"Doctor, don't go," she said fearfully, and he chuckled, tangling his fingers through her mussed-up blonde hair and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm turning the light out, Rose; I'm not leaving you," he assured her. He flicked off the lamp, shut the door and the room was bathed in darkness. He climbed back into the bed with Rose, letting her snuggle up to him.

"You'll stay? For the whole night?" she mumbled tiredly, wanting confirmation before she fell back asleep.

He rested his head against hers for a moment. "I'm staying. The whole night, I'm staying."

Her body relaxed; she linked her fingers with his, and after a moment, a deep sigh told him Rose was soundly and peacefully asleep once more.


End file.
